Caregiver burnout is like a candle that runs out of a wick — it doesn’t have what it needs to continue to provide light. It is a state of exhaustion that can happen when caregivers selflessly dedicate their time and energy to manage the health and safety of a loved one and neglect to take care of their own physical, social, and mental health needs. If left unchecked, caregiver burnout can lead to devastating consequences for both the caregiver and the care recipient. These include declining health, social isolation, depression, financial strain, and in some cases, substance abuse.
Common causes of caregiver burnout include:
- Emotional strain- Caregiving often requires an extreme degree of physical and emotional input. When there is just no way for you to make them “well,” it can be overwhelming.
- Conflicting demands- The care receiver has needs, spouses have needs, children have needs, employers and co-workers have needs. You have needs. Trying to meet the needs of everyone can create conflict and stress.
- Ambiguity of roles- Sometimes caregivers do not know exactly what their roles and responsibilities are in relation to others around them.
- Work load- There’s just too much to do.
- Difficulties navigating policies and procedures- It may feel intimidating or frustrating to try to secure the services you want and need without extensive knowledge of complicated healthcare and insurance systems.
- Lack of privacy- There is no time to be alone. There may be many people in and out of your home assisting with some facet of the caregiving all the time.
The emotional and physical demands of caregiving can strain even the strongest person. But it’s important to remember that your well-being matters just as much as the person you’re caring for. Familiarizing yourself with the signs and symptoms of caregiver burnout can empower you to take proactive steps to get the help you need before things get out of hand. There isn’t one solution to treat caregiver burnout. You’ll likely need to try more than one strategy to address and counteract the exhaustion you may be feeling. The following may help you manage caregiver burnout:
Talking to a Healthcare Provider
When burnout manifests as feelings of overwhelm and inadequacy, it helps to hear from a professional. Taking time to discuss how you’re feeling with a health care provider, psychologist, social worker or mental health professional can be an outlet for bottled up emotions, an opportunity for grace and reassurance, and a great space to brainstorm. Professionals who specialize in caregiver stress or trauma can provide personalized strategies for managing the intense emotions that burnout brings.
What questions should I ask my healthcare provider?
- How do I minimize stress?
- How can I better manage my emotions and expectations in my caregiving situation?
- Is there a way to reduce the amount of guilt I feel when I take care of myself?
- Can you recommend community resources or organizations for caregivers?
- Are there financial resources available for caregivers?
- Who do I reach out to for help with caregiving if my friends and family can’t help me?
In addition to addressing caregiver-related concerns, maintaining a good, consistent relationship with your health care provider can help you proactively manage your well-being. Small steps like getting your routine vaccines and regular health screenings are preventative measures that can reduce risk of illness and chronic health conditions.
Self-Care and the Importance of Asking for Help
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by caregiving, tending to your own needs may be the last thing on your mind. But self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity for caregivers. You deserve to show respect and care for your own feelings. And focusing on what you need isn’t a denial of your caregiving responsibilities. If you can find small ways to lower your stress and boost your mood, you’ll have more strength and stamina to go about your daily activities.
This attention to self-care is a proactive way to avoid burnout before it gets out of hand, or to recharge your battery when you feel like you’re running on empty. Below are some suggestions that may help you feel less overwhelmed. Remember that you don’t have to do everything all at once, especially if the thought of self-care just makes you feel more exhausted.
- Be active- Find something active that you enjoy. That might be walking, dancing, gardening, or playing with a pet. Even short periods of exercise can be beneficial.
- Eat well- Work on having a well-balanced diet that includes a variety of healthy foods. Drink plenty of water every day.
- Prioritize sleep- Aim to get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Develop a relaxing bedtime routine to make it easier to fall asleep. Try to go to sleep and get up at the same time each day.
- Reduce stress- Experiment with relaxation techniques like meditation, tai chi, or yoga. Download a smartphone app with guided meditations or relaxing music.
- Make time to relax- Carve out time each week to do something you enjoy that has nothing to do with caregiving. It can be as simple as watching a favorite TV show, reading a magazine, or working on a hobby.
- Be kind to yourself- You don’t have to pretend to be cheerful all the time. Feelings of sadness, frustration, and guilt are normal and understandable. Express your feelings by writing in a journal or talking with a friend.
- Reach out for support- Talk to a trusted family member or friend or seek counseling from a professional. Join an online or in-person support group for caregivers. These are people who will know what you’re going through and may have suggestions or advice.
- Delegate- Don’t try to do everything yourself. Ask for help from another family member or trusted friend. Is there someone who can serve as a secondary or long-distance caregiver? Maybe they can schedule appointments or provide respite when you need a break.
The last point is the most critical: ask for help. Sometimes, your support system doesn’t recognize the need unless you ask for it. You may need to practice saying “yes” when someone offers you help or saying “no” when more tasks fall on your plate. A few ideas for things you can ask for include helping with the laundry and housekeeping, sitting with your loved one while you take time for yourself, cooking meals, and helping with medical appointments. Family members and friends are often more willing than you realize to step in, but there are also outside options that may provide the help you need.
Finding Available Support
Organizations within your community may offer services and support that can alleviate the burden you’re experiencing. Your healthcare provider can often be a great first resource to point you toward the help you need.
Organizations offering support services may include:
- Home health services- These agencies provide home health aides and nurses for short-term care if your loved one is ill. Some agencies provide short-term respite care.
- Adult day care- These programs offer a place for adults over age 65 to socialize, engage in a variety of activities, and receive needed medical care and other services.
- Nursing homes or assisted living facilities- Some assisted living homes, memory care homes, and nursing homes accept people who need care for short stays.
- Private care aides- These are professionals who specialize in assessing current needs and coordinating care and services.
- Caregiver support services- These include programs and support groups that can help caregivers refuel, connect with others living in similar situations, learn more about specific medical conditions, and obtain assistance with caregiving tasks like housekeeping, meal delivery, and transportation.
Many national and local organizations provide resources and information that may be relevant to caregivers looking for help, including respite care and support groups.
- Illinois Area Agencies on Aging– Contact your local Agency on Aging or your local chapter of the AARP for services (such as adult day care services, caregiver support groups and respite care) that are available in your area.
- The Eldercare Locator– The Eldercare Locator is a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging connecting you to services for older adults and their families. You can search by zip code or town/state to find services in your community.
- Aging and Disability Resource Centers– ADRNs are a collaboration between AgeOptions and the Progress Center for Independent Living. They are designed to raise visibility about the full range of available care options, provide counseling and assistance, empower people to make informed decisions about long-term services and supports, and help people access public and private programs.
- Caregiver Action Network’s Caregiver Help Desk– Caregiver Action Network and Carallel’s Caregiver Help Desk uses personal connection, expert guidance, and digital tools to identify and empower caregivers so they can confidently manage the twists and turns of caregiving.
- ARCH National Respite Network– ARCH assists and promotes the development of quality respite and crisis care programs and helps families locate services.
- Family Caregiver Alliance– FCA provides expert support, resources and guidance to family caregivers of adults with physical and cognitive impairments.
- Alzheimer’s Association– Provides care and support to all those facing Alzheimer’s and other dementias through online services and in-person programs.
- Rush Caring for Caregivers– This program assists in developing a plan for the caregiver’s physical and emotional health and well-being while incorporating the care needs and preferences of the care recipient.
- Without Warning– A support program for those living with younger onset Alzheimer’s Disease and their families.
Caregiver burnout can make you feel alone and like there’s no relief in sight. But whether you need to delegate caregiving responsibilities, or simply schedule a dedicated hour of “me-time” each day to do something you love, it will always be worthwhile to explore how you can better care for yourself. Give yourself grace and know that you are doing the best you can to care for your loved one. Remind yourself that you can’t accomplish everything on your own. With the assistance of family, dedicated professionals, and kind friends, neighbors and community members, you will likely feel more empowered to handle the responsibilities of caring for another.
Sources: National Institute on Aging, Rush University Medical Center, Johns Hopkins Medicine, Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, and the Caregiver Action Network.
